“We have no legacy, no ties to the past; we are free to find the right way.” –Polestar

“A problem is grand [...] if it lies before us unsolved and we see some way for us to make some headway into it. I would advise you to take even simpler [...] problems until you find some you can really solve easily, no matter how trivial. You will get the pleasure of success, and of helping your fellow [human], even if it is only to answer a question in the mind of a colleague less able than you. You must not take away from yourself these pleasures because you have some erroneous idea of what is worthwhile.” –Feynman

Friday, June 11

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Friends I am excited. I went out for coffee this morning and was stopped in my tracks by this singing bird who—over the course of two full minutes—didn’t repeat itself once. What kind of world is this?

The Great Release

I think—I think—we all have some inner drive, some irreducible core of truth-in-purpose at the very center. I’ve heard complimentary ideas that describe this as Being, or Is-ness, the idea that to exist and to know oneself and to know one’s self as one is ultimately it. And I think that’s true, I think I feel that. There’s something more in there that has direction, though. I think? I think, I feel.

Mine, I think, has something to do with understanding and expressing. Like, taking in as much as I can, one small piece of perception at a time, and adjusting this model I have of how it all works, of what it all is, rounding the rough edges so that everything new I encounter fits, evolving this model of Everything and integrating it into my brain and my heart and my body and whatever else I’ve got, equipping me for the dance. I should say “equipping me for expression” here, instead of “for the dance”, but it’s not just expression—it’s expression that’s meant to be communication, on some level. Like, I know there’s an audience of some kind, someone that I’m trying to reach. It might be myself? It might be you, it might be everything, I’m not sure. But it feels like learning to talk. I see newborns firing random muscles, slowly making a model of how their body works; I see toddlers rolling mouth-sounds around, making words, learning how to say things that land with the listener (and they know when it lands).

Part of it is the intrinsic need to self-express, to release oneself fully, holding nothing back. But again, part of it—for me—is to put something forth that you (whoever you are, and I’m not speaking strictly to you-dear-reader but to whoever you are) will hear and understand and receive. So that it sinks into you, penetrates you, changes you, as I too am changed by everything I take in.

I’ve had more than a meaningless amount of conversation, as of late, about what we make, and how we make it. The best language I’ve found, for my particular self, is this:

1. I sense something (an idea, a pattern, a something) that wants to emerge and to live.

2. I want to do whatever I can to allow that living thing to come forward into being in its whole, healthy aliveness, so that it can move the way it wants to (without halting, without hesitating, without pain), and so that it too will sense what wants to emerge next, so that it too may choose to yield something new and alive, next.

I’m pretty sure very sure that none of this happens by a binding, or by control or by forcing pieces into place with a furrowed brow and a tight stomach. (At least not directly; it’s possible that those things may be needed in order to then necessitate the release that follows.) And in that parenthetical I’ve jumped the gun on the point: I know that this yielding-of-the-next-living-thing happens via release. You don’t build and then animate something alive. You let it go, and you watch it happen.

Breathe. Right now. Notice your breath. Return to your now by taking stock of your breath. If your heart rate is a little elevated, breathe, slowly, in and out of your nose. We are alive. It’s a gift! Thank your breath in this moment. :)

Play

Summer is, I think, my favorite season. I feel the most alive with short shorts and a tank top on. I love working out shirtless. I love warm days, relaxing in the shade with the warm breeze on my face. I love cool summer nights. I love bonfires. I love the sun. I love thunderstorms. I love long days. I love wearing my Victoria Beckham sunglasses, pretending I’m going to the beach with her. I love all of it.

Summer invites me into playful expression. Walking (or running) barefoot in the grass or a sunset hike wakes up the little kid in me and reminds me of how amazing it is to really be alive. 

It was 100 degrees in Denver yesterday. Ha, it was so great. Our back porch is covered by an incredible maple canopy and it makes for an incredible space to hang out in when it’s hot outside because the shade is our best friend.

Anyways, as I’m writing this with my shirt off (hello, fellow people who don’t like wearing a lot of clothes during the summertime), I’m thinking about all the playful things I want to experience in the next couple of months. After a year of working a lot and being at home, I’m really ready to invite in more play. I think sometimes it’s hard, as I’ve gotten older, to allow and give myself permission to play.

Isaac and I are working with Someoddpilot, a brand and marketing agency out of Chicago, on a branding project for Lightward. It’s been amazing. While I was going through a slide deck they sent us about some company essence stuff they are working on, I told Isaac that I love exploring and being curious about growth and experimentation and living a really intentional life, while also being super playful and extra (in every sense—something I’m getting more and more comfortable with over time.) ... And while being playful and deep/thoughtful/philosophical CAN be one-and-the-same, I find myself sometimes leaning more towards the serious/deep/thoughtful/philosophical more than the playful/loud/extra/joyful.

And to be honest, I *need* both. I think I’m the most powerful when they are both, equally, at play. ;)

Here’s how I’m inviting myself into a more playful flow:

• Accepting and honoring that I love having fun and being playful—in my work, relationships and with myself.

• Holding things and explorations with an open hand—everything can change at an instant—am I inviting more stress or more joy in?

• Being shirtless / naked / having less clothes on more often—my body is gorgeous as he continues to transform into a healthier and brighter version of himself

• Hydrating! SO IMPORTANT. And allows me to feel good.

• Expressing myself through my fashion. I want to explore different styles and ways to feel confident as I STRUT through life.

• Ask questions and have conversations that bring in levity and laughter

• Giving myself permission to BE and FEEL silly and playful with myself, Isaac, and others

• Go out of my way to create moments of joy—curating more gorgeous experiences

• Take photos that make me feel really open and wild and free

Are you inviting yourself into playfulness this summer? (or winter, wherever you are reading this email from) ... If you want to play more and need a little bit of encouragement—let me be the friend who encourages you to dive into that for yourself. This life is full of so many opportunities to experience joy and fun—I hope you let it in. x

To your joy, and mine, 

Abe

Things we are making

(did you know that “we” means you too? it’s true!)

Empowered Human Academy

April Gustafson is opening doors to better worlds through math and science. After working as a science teacher for both middle and high school students, April went to grad school for computer science and now works as a data engineer at Spotify. Even as she’s pivoted careers, April has kept the throughline of her purpose clear. Fueled by the desire to make science accessible to those who have typically been shut out of the equation, April is holding the door open for a more diverse range of perspectives.

Throughout this conversation we explore redefining your purpose, grounding your identity in spiritual reality, examining false narratives, and daring yourself to start something new. As you’ll soon hear for yourself, April has a big heart and with it she’s dreaming up better worlds—for both herself and others. We’re grateful for how April shared herself with us here and hope this conversation might spark some curiosity about how your own unique path might be opening up doors for those coming up behind you, too.

Listen on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Also hey, if you are drawn to the idea of being on this podcast, let us know. Head to eha.party.

Lightward Together

We’re all changing all the time—so how can we have fun doing it?

Change can often feel like (and be framed as) a weighty thing...but what if we viewed change as a good book that we’re reading—while we don’t know what’s coming next, we can trust the author and where they’re taking us. We’re alive, we have agency, so we can have a dynamic and exciting relationship with what happens next.

We made Lightward Together as a space to catch hands with each other, every so often, to share the stories being written and to recharge our inspiration in the writing. We’re currently opening up 2 spots per session—completely free of charge—so you can experience the magic in real time without any expectation of financial commitment. Sign up for one of these spots here. Our next session is Tuesday, June 15th at 5pm MT, and we are ready. :)