Friday, April 9

lightward.com/newsletter

I think I just want to understand. I think that’s part of what Lightward is, for me: my quest to understand how this all works. To understand how to make something good (oh), to try out the things I’m beginning to understand (🏎), to slowly develop an elementary mastery (rising in my head), to see what can only be seen (seen) once you’ve gained the ground (here we are), and to then try, try, to understand that (never/always).

I do not need to go to a place of suffering to gain permission to change what I’m doing.

Second-shot symptoms. Good things, honestly. I was up at 3am, starting to feel the onset, and I became aware of this thought I was having: kinda hope that this hits me in a serious enough way that I can justify stepping away from everything for a day.

SUPER FUCKING HAPPY I caught that thought as it was passing by.

Hear me (and I’m talking to myself here, but you can listen in if it’s useful): IF AN ATTRIBUTE OF ILLNESS LOOKS ATTRACTIVE THERE IS SOMETHING TO EXAMINE.

Life is in a constant state of approaching balance, tipping over the equilibrium, and re-approaching balance from the other direction.

I am a tad out of balance. Not hugely, but enough to want something to change. And it’s clear that part of my hesitance to change has something to do with external perception, because I found myself half-hoping that I would fall into circumstances (i.e. obvious illness) that others would respect enough to find my absence justified.

Not useful. Temporarily, maybe, as a path to better ends, but that’s not a necessary path.

If I want a change, I don’t have to go to a place of suffering to justify it.—to anyone, be they an external observer or myself.

I’m feeling much better today. My brain is more aligned, I’m having a much easier time seeing the good, feeling the next step. I know I have some things to change. And, happily, I know that I have access to that change directly. There’s no pain-toll, except that which I create for myself, and I decline.

Wellness for you, and for me

The sun is setting and the light is flowing in, leaving impressions on our wall. Everything is alive. And so are you! Notice your breath. Are your shoulders tense? Are you holding your breath? Are you breathing through your nose? Take a moment and take a deep inhale through your nose, and exhale there also. You are here, present, in this quiet yet big moment. Allow yourself to feel your now. It’s a gift. 

Your Environment Matters

We are impacted by everything we surround ourselves with, including, but not limited to, our thoughts, the food we eat, our posture, our relationships, how we breathe (hey boo, breathe through your nose), our inner dialogue, our views of the world, the seasons, and our environment. Where do you operate? In what type of environment? I’m not just talking about your home or even what your desk looks like (though I do deeply believe that the physical environment is incredibly important in helping us be happier and healthier), I’m mostly talking about the energetic environment you’re living in. The internal and subconscious one. The one that either opens or closes your mind and heart.

There’ve been times, in previous years, where I became aware of moments in which my internal environment seemed really hostile and defensive, like I was LOOKING for things to be wrong. Where I was letting my subconscious learned patterns of giving-and-giving-and-giving before taking care of myself take over, or where I automatically thought I was unworthy of something I wanted, thus hindering me from even starting to explore the thing that I wanted. In those moments I realized that my internal environment was NOT CUTE. It was basically a bunch of unchecked beliefs and assumptions and patterns that really needed some rearranging. They needed some spring cleaning, if you will, getting rid of the junk I didn’t need anymore, and selectively keeping what I wanted to have around. Why? Because a cluttered environment is stuffy and doesn’t allow room for creativity, for growth or for expansion.

Friend, what clutter in your environment do you need to rearrange and/or get rid of? What do you want to let go of? What’s not serving you anymore? What is stale? What needs to go? What needs to be taken care of? How are you tending to that gorgeous, powerful inner environment of yours? You have agency, choice, power, to take control of what’s happening in your head and in your heart. Your environment matters, profoundly—and thanks for letting my words and energy take up a tiny space in that environment—I don't take that gift for granted.

I believe in you, fully!

Abe

What we’re making

We’ve been the caretakers of the @whole30recipes Instagram this past week! We’ve shared yummy recipes, met new people from around the world, talked about potatoes with Isaac’s dad (who’s a potato scientist!), and have really enjoyed ourselves. Check out what we’ve created this past week!! <3

Empowered Human Academy
Rebekah Pahl: Life Wants To Be Lived

This week’s guest on Empowered Human Academy is our dear friend and writer for the Lightward team, Rebekah Pahl. We’ve known Rebekah for almost eight years now—our paths first crossed while we were living in California, and we’ve witnessed up close her artistic evolution as a songwriter, musician, and writer. We wrote our wedding vows to her song “Canyons” and have hosted a couple of her living room concerts over the years. This friendship just keeps on growing as she’s now a writer on our team—it’s as if the universe was like, “I’m very serious about your souls hanging out with each other in this life.” We’re having a lot of fun, and we feel lucky as hell to see a good friend explore and flex her ability, up close, and in so many ways.

Throughout this conversation we discuss forging a creative path with minimal reference points, existing in uncertainty, the dance between action and surrender, finding comfort in mystery when the world feels heavy, and what our souls came here to do. We really loved getting this window into Rebekah’s mind and can’t wait to contemplate the mysteries of the universe over a glass of wine with her once it’s safe to do so.

Listen on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Lightward Together

You’ve identified your desire to build a life you’re excited about—AMAZING. Just having that awareness alone is everything, that’s where it all begins. And while your path is uniquely yours, we’re in this life together—we’re never alone. Lightward Together is a group coaching experience centered on the belief that we have so much to learn from each other—you illuminate my path, and I illuminate yours. We find ourselves in each other’s stories and are reminded of our own agency and power when we witness others accessing their own.

Our next Lightward Together group coaching session is next Thursday, April 15th at 5pm MT—and we’d love for you to join us. We’re currently opening up 2 spots per session completely free of charge so you can have the chance to experience the magic in real time.

even more,
Abe + Isaac

and then there’s this, lol