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What is, what is, what is // Abe’s bit // Made, making // $$PLAIN_TEXT_PREVIEW$$
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never rained in the desert 'til I
picked me for the very first time
it's darkest before the sunrise
that's when I
superbloom Friday, March 26 lightward.com/newsletter
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What is, what is, what is
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Currently enjoying the shit out of the following: The Expanse—the books! Haven’t watched the show yet! I’m just about to tuck into book 4. Can’t stop. Don’t want to, anyway. The Mechanic community! Mechanic’s this thing I made a couple years ago, which is now—like Lightward—being made by many people around me, too. This crew is getting it, and I am enjoying this so, so very much. The songs at the beginning and end of this newsletter. Go listen to ‘em. You’re welcome. My body! God I love being in this body. I love rolling around naked in the snow, I love carving easy lines down the street on a onewheel, I love lifting heavy things and I love sleeping and fucking and every dance in between. My team, my team, my team. My team. They’re the best, every single one of ‘em. The delicious anticipation of our first flight in forever. Booked the tickets. It’s gonna happen. Lifting off again is going to be amazing. Every errant physical or emotional or relational scrape or bruise, and being able to laugh in the pain because I know its place in the flow. Freedom, freedom, freedom. Inhabiting this, our birthright. The frankly absurd number of candles on our coffee table. This rectangular hunk of black stone littered with (one, two…) eleven different candles, all at this moment burning, and every single one in a different vessel. Wonderful. Why not. Co-Star! Here I am, and that is true, best as I can tell.
Speaking of that, here’s a thing Co-Star said to me today: To really love someone, learn how to be alone. I’m paraphrasing; must have dismissed the original notification. But! This line makes a lot of sense to me today. I am able to give the best of myself when the best of myself is not dependent or contingent on anyone/anything being a certain way. I was wondering how I was going to be able to describe this, but that line ☝️ really does it well. I have access to the best of myself, no matter what. No matter who’s doing what, no matter what’s doing who. No matter whether the object or subject of my love is near or far or connected or estranged. It is delightful to be with someone who knows this themselves. And also I have access to delight regardless, even if they don’t (in a given moment) remember their own. I can still see their light, their inner wisdom working itself free, solving for itself, loosening to let essence breathe. Interestingly, I can hold that perspective with myself, too. My current understanding of what is holds that this points to the boundary between my greater mind and my physical identity: my true self, my broader awareness, can hold my physical stress and confusion and uncertainty with that same love, and that gentle, all-accepting enjoyment. Those are some things. :) For the record, life is feeling like a cool drink of water at 3am, and—with the immediacy of sensation and absence of context that one has, waking at 3am—I roll over and wish you sweet dreams, and sweet mornings after. -bliss
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It’s been a long but good week and my brain is really tired. I’m grateful and stir crazy and feeling really human right now. Thank you for reading these words. I hope they find you feeling all the ways that being alive invites. Currently enjoying the shit out of the following: Spending a week connecting to university students from around the world who are creating innovative solutions to make this world a better place. Exploring depth with Isaac. I love that man, y’all. We are approaching 7 full years together and I couldn’t be more in love. Inviting in more thoughts that are optimized and grounded in feeling as good as I can in any given moment. Seeing my clients dive deeper into their own lived experiences, choosing to turn and tune their attention to all that’s possible. The thought of our first trip in May to the beach (safely, with masks of course). The thought of hugging my dad and brother and other family members who are vaccinated sooooooon! Building Lightward, slowly and intentionally. And the people we get to work with every day. Preparing for our @whole30recipes takeover on instagram! Mark your calendars! April 5-11—we would LOVE to see you there and to feel your love and support as we present some fun recipes and fun times in front of 1.5 million people. Knowing I have a team of professionals who have been with me since the beginning of my #abeminus100 journey. I don’t take that privilege or gift for granted. This includes my dietician, my trainer, and my physical therapist, all of whom I work with either on a daily basis or weekly basis. Health is so important. The thoughts of how our bodies are constantly working almost perfectly, which allows us to experience every aspect of being alive. From our taste to touch to feelings. What a ride! What a miracle! I wrote this in an IG post this week:
Last night I imagined my immune system as little characters (antibodies, t-cells, etc) enjoying cocktails and champagne at a gala (my body). They are all dressed up and having a ball (hello, my body is amazing). And when they see an intruder (COVID, other diseases), they take off their earrings and are ready to pop off to take care of me. Imagining that literally moved me to tears. I wanted to become friends with those little characters taking care of me. How special are they?! Anyways, bodies are amazing. I’m switching it up a bit here. I’d love to hear your answers to these two questions (truly, we read every response to these emails): What are you currently enjoying the shit out of? What are you working on that you want to get better at? This can be from art to mindset to patterns, etc.
We are ALIVE. Every breath is a miracle. Do you feel it? I believe in your gorgeous humanity, Abe
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Empowered Human Academy Which Was Just Ranked #18 In Self-Improvement Podcasts In Ireland On Apple Podcasts Which Is Pretty Dang Cool In celebration of our 25th episode, we’re changing things up a bit this week—interviewing our first couple! We invited two of our dearest friends, Jonny Mendez and Aimée Mazzenga, for one intimate and lively conversation—and we loved every minute. Jonny and Aimée have been together for nine years and married for almost five. As artists, they’re both extremely talented in their creative fields. Aimée’s an interior photographer, and Jonny a musician. (Fun fact: Aimée’s work has been published in Architectural Digest, and Jonny composed the intro music you hear at the beginning of the podcast). Throughout this conversation we explore communication in marriage and partnership, the value of therapy, self-awareness, family of origin, advocating for your inner child, the importance of play, and taking the time to make moments special. We’re huge fans of Jonny and Aimée as individuals as well as the energy they create together. Their relationship is a reminder of what’s possible in partnership when you’re committed to keep shedding unhelpful narratives in order to keep growing into your truest self. This conversation was a lot of fun and we’re excited to share it with you. Listen on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
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Lightward Together When we’re forging new paths for ourselves, it’s going to be awkward, scary, and hard. So how can you normalize being gentle towards yourself in the midst of small, yet decisive change? Normalize the wobbling as you experiment with something new. That’s a big part of why we started Lightward Together—to remind ourselves that we’re not alone by cultivating a group experience centered on empowerment. Spending 75 minutes every two weeks with like-minded people who are also deeply engaged in their own growth is powerful, inspiring, and helps us remember who we are. If you’ve been curious about these group sessions, then we have exciting news! We’re opening up 2 spots per session—free of charge—for anyone who’s interested in deepening their own empowerment journey. Reply to this email, and let’s get started.
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Sometimes Isaac makes music
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I wanna cut through the clouds,
break the ceiling
I wanna dance on the roof,
you and me alone
I wanna cut to the feeling,
oh yeah
I wanna cut to the feeling,
oh yeah
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