Friday, December 25

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Ohhhh, it’s good. It’s so good. All of it. Even the bad. It’s all good. When we feel something right, it locks in our knowledge of what we want. When we feel something not that, it does exactly the same thing. No matter what happens, we are learning, moment by moment, exactly what we want to make—of ourselves, of our time, of our world. And then it is made. Inexorably. Quickly, slowly, directly, circuitously, inevitably. You cannot hold a desire in your mind, in your body, in your soul and have it not affect your world.

And I pray
When we meet again
That the world has changed
Into the world that we are imaging now together
And I pray that the world has become
The world that we’re planting inside of ourselves
The Keep Going Song, The Bengsons

So, rest. Lean back. Let it all go, for a moment. If you are sure you can take the next ten breaths, then let it all go for all of those ten breaths. You can do that much, there is space for at least that much.

Today, Abe and I are alone, and we are not alone. We are opening presents alone, and we are hiking the sunrise with Lauren (distanced!). We are making frozen pizzas by ourselves, and we are kicking it in the backyard for 30 (distanced!) minutes with Kent. (He’s storing skis in our basement for a bit.)

There once was a time that was not 2020, where we spent the night of Christmas Eve alone by accident, at a Mariano’s, 20 minutes to close, wondering why they turned the heat off (oh yeah, 20 minutes to close), waiting while our car charged outside and eating cheese and crackers from the grab-n-go counter, quite alone apart from a very sad person at the other end of the community-style dining table who did not want to hang, and whose presence somehow increased the loneliness, which was impressive (lol). That whole situation was pretty absurd.

Today is also absurd, in its own way, but the tenor is warmer. We are taking care of ourselves much better, and of each other. :)

I’ve been focusing on appreciation. Appreciation appreciation appreciation. Of everything. I defied Abe, earlier today, to find a thing that I could not appreciate. I remain triumphant. Which I appreciate.

It feels good, you know? To let go of all the reasons to be critical and worried and all bound up and to just release into appreciation. And because like begets like, as like attracts like, that point of focus keeps on getting better, warming everything it touches.

An excerpt from History.com’s article on Kwanzaa, which is itself excerpted from The Complete Kwanzaa (Celebrating Our Cultural Harvest), by Dorothy Winbush Riley.

I’m sharing because I am startled by the beauty in this; if you are here at all (hello, by the way!), this is worth your time.

The seven principles, or Nguzo Saba are a set of ideals created by Dr. Maulana Karenga. Each day of Kwanzaa emphasizes a different principle.

Unity: Umoja (oo–MO–jah)
To strive for and maintain unity in the family, community, nation, and race.

Self-determination: Kujichagulia (koo–gee–cha–goo–LEE–yah)
To define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves, and speak for ourselves.

Collective Work and Responsibility: Ujima (oo–GEE–mah)
To build and maintain our community together and make our sister’s and brother’s problems our problems and to solve them together.

Cooperative Economics: Ujamaa (oo–JAH–mah)
To build and maintain our own stores, shops, and other businesses and to profit from them together.

Purpose: Nia (nee–YAH)
To make our collective vocation the building and developing of our community in order to restore our people to their traditional greatness.

Creativity: Kuumba (koo–OOM–bah)
To do always as much as we can, in the way we can, in order to leave our community more beautiful and beneficial than we inherited it.

Faith: Imani (ee–MAH–nee)
To believe with all our heart in our people, our parents, our teachers, our leaders, and the righteousness and victory of our struggle.

With heartfelt appreciation, our wellness sees yours, meets yours, encourages yours. We are growing, together. 💞