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Friday, November 20 It’s a self-evident truth, for me, that life wants to live. And really, all we need to do is get out of the way. Just let it happen. Let every cell within you ask for and receive what it needs; let yourself do the same. I believe that the universe is wildly in your favor. Let it in, let it in, let it in. lightward.com/newsletter
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It’s our fourth anniversary!
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Anniversaries we celebrate: The 4th of every month: when we first met (April 4th, 2014) The 26th of every month: when we officially started dating (April 26th, 2014) November 19th of every year: when we married (November 19th, 2016)
And every year, in anticipation of our wedding anniversary, we do art. We get away, somewhere, and we write to each other, and we individually steal away for a few minutes and record a time capsule video for the other. And the incredible Orion Pahl creates a video of his own, from all the goings-on, that we savor and share and then keep alongside all of the others of its kind, so that every year we can look back and reconnect with our past selves from each annum we’ve shared. This the fourth, of those. I’m moved by the idea of having ten, twenty, fifty of these to look back on. Each one has been (and will be) distinct, carrying (as each does) the vibe of the year, of the moment. I’m not one for journaling; these videos are perhaps the most significant personal records from the past few years. I’m excited, every time I watch them in serial. These videos aren’t for you, and also they absolutely are. Like pretty much all of what we do, this is a natural expression, an overflow, of who we are—and making these is an investment in our joy. :D And also, we know that what we’re doing here is a potent example of love in the world—a specific manifestation of the greater love that we know binds us all together. In sharing this, we’re reminding our collective self of which direction is up. Happy anniversary, of that glorious day! Happy anniversary, on completion of another year of expansion. Happy anniversary: here’s to an eternity more. 🔆
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Hello fellow breathing humans. How has your breathing been this last week? Have you taken moments out of your day to inhale and exhale slowly, on purpose? If not, no worries! You are in luck—you’re still breathing! Which means you have this wonderful opportunity in front of you to take advantage of one of the greatest tools you have: your breath! As we move into the Thanksgiving season here in the US, take some time in the next week to sit alone with your breath and to ground yourself in gratitude. When we take a step back and realize how incredible it is to be alive, our perspectives shift and our lives become more joyful. Cliché, and also very real. Try using breathwork to help you enjoy this magical existence. During your practice this next week, inhale and exhale through your nose 5 seconds in and 5 seconds out for 10 minutes. Put on some relaxing music and gift yourself with the powerful movement of the breath. Sustainability and growth I’ve been thinking about my health journey a lot recently. 2020 has given me time away from our normally crazy busy schedule to spend a lot more time with myself. I’m grateful for it. All of this means I’ve been sitting with the idea of sustainability and growth and how that connects with living a really joyful life. Y’all, I’m here to really enjoy this life that I’ve been given, and I’m always looking for ways to improve my lived experience. I’ve been on this #abeminus100 journey for 3+ years (look that hashtag up on Instagram—you’ll be able to see some pretty neat posts from the process), and I realize now that when I started I didn’t know what sustainability looked like, because I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. I didn’t know how to work out properly, eat well, or even really understand how much mindfulness plays into living healthily. All of that had been true for years, and it left me never even wanting to start. It was too overwhelming and I often found myself stuck in a really toxic cycle of unhealthy habits, habits that felt comfortable because they were known and predictable. It was easy. Fast forward 75 pounds and a new life later, I’m realizing one of the main ingredients to sustainability in ANYTHING is experiencing joy in the process. I talk about feelings a lot because I believe feeling as good / healthy / alive / etc. as possible is why we are here. I have tried myriad ways of living healthy in the last 3+ years and the biggest takeaway I’ve learned is that if I am not enjoying the process, I’m not going to keep the process. I don’t play basketball because I don’t enjoy it. I don’t eat melons or tomatoes because I don’t like them. I do, however, like CrossFit-esque workouts. I do love grapes and zucchini. There are a million ways to be healthy (or to do anything) and when we find what we actually enjoy doing/being/creating, sustainability is a lot easier to achieve. Are you doing something right now that you hate doing? Are you hanging out with people who don’t make you feel good or empowered to be your authentic self? Seriously, are you eating tomatoes just because you feel like you “need” to? No judgement if you answer yes to any of those; I just want you to take a moment to think about how things that you don’t enjoy doing have really been an uphill battle for you to sustain. How can you steer towards life patterns, behaviors, habits, activities that you actually LOVE? I promise you that the more you enjoy something, the easier it is going to be to do it for a long period of time. And if I’m your only friend who is encouraging you to not eat tomatoes because you hate them, I got you. 😘 Find your joy and do things you actually love doing. From daily routines to careers to friendships to decorating to self-expression. You are worth it, and sustainability is freaking awesome. I believe in you, Abe
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We hit a tense knot of disagreement earlier this week. Doesn’t happen often, but it does happen. Each one has something to teach us, and in this one I had the presence of mind to pause, close my eyes, breathe, and consciously let go of all my resistance to the process—and in that moment, I was able to wonder what there was here for me to learn. And I realized that I had constructed a system of gated emotions that looked like this: I didn’t feel happy I operated with the belief that I wouldn’t feel happy until Abe was happy I filtered and optimized my own expression and behavior, in order to try and steer Abe to a happy place, so that I could again be happy
Which means: I had voluntarily given up my access to happiness, that access that I am born with And, worse, I had constructed a system that resulted in me manipulating Abe into “allowing” me to access happiness again, which is not at all how that works
My happiness, my joy, my well-being, doesn’t come through anybody. We each have direct access to Life Itself. My thoughts create my experience, and I can choose my thoughts; therefore, I have direct access to any feeling-experience I want. All of this kind of crystalized in my head in a moment. And in that moment, I remembered my freedom. And allllllll of that tense energy transmuted, and became joy. I shit you not. The transition upward isn’t usually that sudden, but sometimes it is, and on that day, it was. It was a fitting thing to remember, this week. Abe and I met in a space of freedom, back in 2014—we were both exploring, boldly, freely, more than ever before. And on the occasion of our anniversary, this was a palpable reminder: for as close as we are, we each contain our own individual springs of well-being. We are not the gatekeepers for anyone else, not even each other. The keys to your happiness rust away in any hands but yours—you can give them up, but they are only effective when you hold them for yourself. And remaining in this power is a gift to those around you, and it’s how I was able to actually optimize how I showed up for the rest of the process, while my beloved husband and I recovered our shared balance. So. My takeaway, and again I am quoting Abraham-Hicks: you are so free, you can choose bondage. In the moment where I allowed myself to relax, and find the lesson in the moment, I saw clearly that I had chosen a form of emotional captivity, and I realized how unnecessary that was. And that, honestly, made me feel incredible—both because I saw how I could choose better, but because I realized that I was learning. :D
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I’m shamelessly plugging my new coffee table book here. One of my old college buddies just bought this book to read to his little 4 year old girl before bedtime. :) Here are some reviews of the book: “I loved the overall stunning simplicity of the pictures and the words, and how the beauty in each seemingly-everyday image or thought, when woven together, is elevated into a true overall feeling of joy. Much needed, in these times with limited outside stimuli.” “Peaceful. Meditative. Something about the cadence (joy is, joy is, joy is) soothes and centers, while the landscapes on every page reach out and connect you to something bigger, something older, something that sees the joy in you and reminds you of it. So glad to have this book, as a physical reminder of real joy.” “I love your book! Beautiful words twined with beautiful photographs. Thank you for sharing your light. ❤️”
You can find my book, A Perspective of Joy, at lightward.com/joy. :) :)
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A flickering flame. A moment of gratitude. Ascending through life. This moment has so much beauty for you to experience, and we are grateful to be a part of it. Happy Thanksgiving from our home to yours. We love you.
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