Friday, January 29
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Designing your days

For me, design is this:

1. Working to honestly understand your own purpose

2. Exploring how that purpose would express itself in the current context

3. Bravely accepting the best, truest, strongest expression that you find

4. And then, acting

This applies everywhere. Everywhere that you have the opportunity to make a choice—and you have that opportunity everywhere. Your work. Your hobby. Your friendships. Your family. Your cooking, your workouts, your mindset. It’s all design.

And it is brave because a clear-sighted view, on the best expression of purpose in a situation, is going to constantly yield surprising results. Whether you require bravery for surprising yourself, or for surprising other people, you are going to find surprises.

Now, design is important because it determines what the future will have to work with. The future will demand its own set of choices, and in the now you get to establish what the options then are going to be. A brave design decision now means that tomorrow you’ll get to carry the momentum of that decision, if you choose to, and it’ll be a little bit easier tomorrow because you’ve already begun.

I chose this way of thinking, a long time ago. I chose to design my decision-making—literally, to design the way I design. And today, I have a mindset that is tuned to weigh every decision, using that process I outlined above.

I’ve done enough hard things, enough brave things that I’m no longer afraid of where this leads. I resist the surprises less and less, because I know that those four steps, repeated over and over and over again, by definition lead to something that is perfect for me. And in the long term, it’s the only way to live. It can be uncomfortable, in a moment (or in a week, or in a year), but once you’ve acted on a thing you know, the transition happens once. And then you’re there, in the place that you’ve designed for yourself. Even if it’s a small change, even if it’s next door to where you started. The changes add up. They add up, and you cannot know exactly what they will add up to, but you can know for sure that they will add up to something that’s yours. Deeply, honestly, comfortably-once-you-get-there yours.

If this feels new to you, try it. In the small moments, first. Figure out how it feels. Even if it’s just putting the dishes away. Begin with step one: bring fresh eyes to the situation, and figure out what the purpose is. Is your purpose to get things put away quickly? Is it to set yourself up for easy cooking, or easy setting-the-table? Is the purpose something less concrete? Is putting the dishes away less about where they go, and more about taking meditative space for yourself for a few minutes? Think about it, feel about it. Figure out what your purpose is. Then, explore how that purpose applies. Try things. Experiment. Iterate. This is exploration, without a specific result in mind—it’s all about seeing how the purpose lands most powerfully. And it may not require bravery to accept the results, since we’re talking about dishes here, but it might—maybe you have a partner who you know is gonna hate you changing this routine, or maybe you have it in your head that changing routine is hard. But if it is easy, great! Enjoy this gentler introduction to the process. :) Act on what you’ve learned, and repeat. Every day, at first, working your way until you are applying this in every single choice.

This is a muscle. You’re going to feel sore in the morning. But when you begin to learn, when you develop some muscle tone and strength and some familiarity with the moves, it will get easier. And the results will get better, and better, and better.

I’m ten years in, doing this with my business. I’m closer to fifteen years in, doing this with my life. And I love this ride, y’all, more than anything. I have so much trust, such absolute trust in this process; I have knowledge that it all leads to good.

If you feel any of that, give this a spin. Test it for yourself. Build your own relationship with your own process. It is a ride, but it is yours, completely, and you get to begin where you are. You can only begin where you are. The only risk is that tomorrow will be different. :)

<3

Wellness, right now.

Pause here, for a moment, and pay attention to your breath, right now. What is your resting heart rate? Mine is at 62 beats per minute. Isn’t it cool that our hearts are beating every second of every day? This whole section of mine is dedicated to bringing intentional awareness to your current moment and exploring how to live well. And I believe that focusing on your breath is one of the greatest tools we have to unlock abundant health. When my heart rate is high while working out and I’m basically gasping for air (hey fellow CrossFitters—you know what a 20-minute AMRAP does for and to you), I always focus on breathing through my nose as much as I can, and—even mid-workout—I focus on slowly bringing my heart rate down through slow inhales and exhales. Reading James Nester’s book, Breath, really changed my whole perspective on how powerful our breath is. After reading this email, take a few minutes to ground yourself in your breath. Your whole body will thank you.

The stories we tell ourselves

I’m an empowerment coach—I currently have 13 people on my coaching roster (which, btw, I have two spots open if you’d like to up your mindset / life experience—hit me up). My clients range from athletes to executives to artists to engineers—it’s fun. :) What’s really cool about coaching is that I get insight into people perceive themselves, and how they perceive the world around them. What I’ve learned is that a lot of the general themes are the same—how we do one thing is how we do everything, after all.

And what’s really clear to me is that perspective and mindset are where everything starts. If someone is having a hard time coming up with and communicating boundaries or they’re beating themselves up over mistakes or they’re doing well at creating momentum in their career or they’re succeeding at learning healthy mindfulness practices, everything in our lives, failure and success alike, comes down to our perceptions and what we focus on. Limitations are often (not all the time) self-created. Thoughts begets action begets embodiment. If I don’t THINK I can make over $60,000, I’m not going to try. If I don’t THINK I can have a healthy marriage, I’m not going to look for someone who matches what I actually desire in a partner. If I don’t THINK it’s possible to be healthy, I’m not going to choose foods/activities that’ll positively impact my health (ps—I was there for a lot of my life).

I believe anything is possible. More than that, I’m certain of it. I’ve seen people wake up to their own greatness, in real time, and when that “a-ha” moment happens, nothing is the same.

I’ve seen people realize, for the first time, that something is possible for them. And it starts with believing it is. Want to have a thriving business? It’s possible. Want to heal from your childhood hurt? It’s possible. Want to live a joyful life? It begins with moving from the perspective of “I want this but I don’t have it” to something new: “I want this, and I can feel what it’s gonna be like, already”. It’s a process of stepping away from the ideas of impossibility and lack and limitation—not pushing them away, just not giving them the time of day anymore. And because stopping is more about replacing than anything else, this is a process of replacing all those limiting thoughts with thoughts of love, healing, contentment, belief in your own goodness, and belief that there is more good out there, ready for you. It’s a process of telling yourself a feel-good story. No more horror stories, no more tragedies. Your mindset, your perspective comes from the story you tell yourself—you are telling your story, and you can tell something good, on purpose.

We are making

Lightward Together

Our first Lightward Together group call was on the 15th and we all walked away a little better because of it. The group energy is so palpable—our Slack channel is moving, and folks from all over the world are sharing inspiration, things they are working on, and things they’re excited about. It’s really amazing to see. Community is so crucial, and in a time of isolation, it can be really discouraging not having people around, for water-cooler office talk or for hanging out on a Friday night. We’re creating this group together, to be that community. And it’s my goal to have Lightward Together be one of the most positive, optimistic places on the internet, where real life-change happens, together—and it’s already starting.

We have our next group coaching call this Sunday (January 31) at 5pm Mountain Standard Time. You’re invited. :)

Lightward Together is an online collective of inspiring humans committed to creating their own joy while actively pursuing their dream lives. Meeting for bi-monthly group coaching sessions and staying in touch via a private Slack channel in between, Lightward Together is a mastermind resource for growth and connection. 

For $75 you get access to everything—the group coaching sessions, Slack channel, and weekly guided meditations to help you cultivate a sense of presence in whatever moment you’re in. We’d love to have you.

Empowered Human Academy

We are exploring the threads of empowerment in the lives of artists, lawyers, athletes, CEOs, and more. Check it out on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Mechanic

This is one of the apps that Isaac maintains, with his team. As this last week, Mechanic finally has an app store video, and Isaac’s feeling really good about it. ;) Even if you have no purpose for this app whatsoever, it’s meant to bring some good energy into your day. Give it a watch, and enjoy. :D

The month is turning over, and so are you. How are you unfolding?