Friday, October 23

You’re here for volume ten! 🥂 On the tenth anniversary of an important thing, discussed below. That works out well. Things tend to, you know? I don’t think life could exist, if they didn’t, and we’re glad you’re a part of it all happening. :) Find a comfortable spot, and enjoy what happens next.

Find this, and everything else we’ve written here, at lightward.com/newsletter. ✨

“Imagine how you’ll feel in ten years!”

Isaac here. 👋 I just got off the phone with someone on my team, talking about the week, about holding ideas peacefully until understanding emerges, about deciding to determine your own happiness (!), about throwing yourself at the ground and missing (with eternal respect to Douglas Adams). Also, about teapots. 🍵

Ten years ago this week, Tristan chose to focus on a moment ten years in the future, in which he could look back and say that he hadn’t smoked a cigarette in all that time. Without being rigid, with allowing himself freedom, he said to himself, “imagine how you’ll feel in ten years!”

This is it! This is it. This is how you create a living thing: begin with a feeling, and let it grow.

Interjection: while I was writing a bit further down, Abe scanned the line above over my shoulder and said “EVERYTHING I PLAN WORKS LIKE THIS”. The more I learn about how my husband works, the more I like him. <3

Making a feeling

This last week, I celebrated ten years of building things for Shopify. (For the uninitiated: Shopify is a platform for commerce, and you’ve probably purchased something from a Shopify-powered store this month.)

And honestly, ten years in, the thing that I want to say is that it feels good. Only that. :)

I was talking with someone a couple weeks ago, feeling out a potential future for our respective companies, and it came up that this part of Lightward serves more than 8000 businesses around the globe. The person on the other end of the line said, “so you don’t sleep at all, do you?” But I do, and it’s because I’ve made sure I could sleep at every stage.

This is kind of the whole idea. Make something that feels good, out of right now, out of whatever you have on hand. (You have everything you need.) Balance it. Let it grow. Rebalance as needed; it will be needed.

For me, this is only possible with specific focus on what I’m actually making.

I didn’t make a company. I made a feeling.

Ten years ago, I was in a context that was asking for something that felt better. I moved some pieces around, I invented something new, but the point wasn’t the invention itself – the point was that I knew it could feel better, and I found a way to allow that to happen. And I put the invention on a shelf where other people could find it, and I let it be.

I mean that literally, and strongly: I let it be.

And for me, that meant not trying to make this new thing into anything, not trying to achieve anything outside of the now, because I had complete control in the now (and you do too): I can take whatever’s here and create from it a feeling, and I can share that feeling with whoever wants in.

I think that’s the only thing I’ve ever done. They say that people will remember how you made them feel; I suspect that feelings are really the only thing that we make, and all the physical accoutrements are secondary manifestations.

So. Ten years. Ten years of creating balance. Ten years of passively monitoring for imbalance, not actively looking for it (because you find what you look for), but of keeping an eye out for that flag in the back of my head that goes up when something needs adjusting. Ten years of seeing the Being in each of my ten thousand users, and the millions and millions of their customers. Ten years of absolute trust that we will always have what we need.

I talk about Lightward in terms of an experiment. “Can we run a company like this, where the whole deal is to take each step towards the light?” I can do better than that phrasing, though. Because it is absolutely clear: I can run my life like this, on every dimension, and that 100% includes that-which-convention-calls-work.

Here are some things that are true about what I’ve done:

• I never took a big risk. Each risk was small. There were a few big steps, but each of those was a move made in absolute strength and certainty.

• While there have absolutely been moments of unrest, of little sleep, of worry or anxiety, they are in no way dominant. There is an overriding calm and assuredness that runs through the entire thing, and we never stray far from it. And, importantly, each break from that alignment teaches us how to better hold that alignment. There are no wrong moves. It’s not possible.

• I trust easily. I did at the beginning, and I do now. This means trust for both myself and others, which means that when I know something or someone will work, I go for it. The results are always good. They may not be what I thought I would get, but they are always good. (To explain by example: I once opened the hiring process for someone who was missing a background I thought I would require, but I opened the process because I felt strongly that it was worth pursuing. While in process, circumstances changed in a way that led me to close the process, but the “risk” I took in even considering that person opened up their own perspective to new kinds of jobs, and they’re now in a role that more perfectly suits them than anything they thought possible before.)

• I have been generous. With my customers, with my team, with myself. (It took me a while to figure out how to talk about being generous with myself, but it’s a thing I’ve had for a long time.) I have been generous because I have always been certain that there is enough, and I have always found evidence to support that.

• Overwhelmingly, the lovers have outnumbered the haters. (And the vast majority of the haters just need to be given space, it turns out.) Consistently, meeting people with love invites love in return, and I have ten years of positive interactions to back that up.

• It’s been fun. :)

At no point has there been a map. Each choice leads to an equally-infinite future, and so there has never been a need for one. I’ve made choices that felt deeply right at every turn, and the thing I celebrate ten years in is not that I’ve built something specific or achieved something measurable (although those things are all a TON of fun to recognize) – I celebrate the story of an evolving flow, and I celebrate a long history of choices towards things that suit me, in my health, perfectly.

Ultimately, I celebrate that I am standing exactly where I want to be. :)

It feels good. I started to experience something stressfully last week, on the actual ten-year anniversary of some specific code I wrote, and I caught myself: hang on, I’ve been doing this for ten years, and there is no WAY that this scenario has ANY claim on my happiness whatsoever.

Everything is worth celebrating, at every stage. And that line in the sand ten years ago is just one way to mark the time. And so, grounded in love for the story as an unending, un-beginning whole, I am wholeheartedly celebrating these last ten years. It is good. :)

-Isaac

Wellness,
for you and me

Hey, fellow breathing humans! Every week I briefly write about the importance of the breath and how important it is for all aspects of your life. I encourage you to take a moment to sit up straight and breathe for the next few minutes, inhaling and exhaling through your nose. Put on a relaxing playlist. Pay close attention to every breath – imagine each inhale as light coming into your body, flooding it with this incredible life force that we sometimes take for granted. And then exhale, imagining that exhale spreading light to your home, community and world. I used to be skeptical about this, but have you ever tried meditating like this? Inhaling for 5 seconds, noticing and appreciating your body and all the glory that it holds. Exhaling for 5 seconds, imagining your breath bringing more life, light, love and healing to the world. Do it – for 5 minutes – and let me know how you feel afterwards. :)

→ You Are Capable ← 

I really like to share my lived experiences with y’all because I believe that there are so many lessons that the universe teaches us (in the most loving way) every single day. And it’s only when we notice them, that our life starts to really get fun.

I was interviewed this week on NBC in New York City (it’ll be released next week, and I’ll be sharing then) and it was the first time that I have shown up on a big network like that. When I was asked to do the interview, I IMMEDIATELY said yes, because y’all know I’m an Enneagram 3 and I love to perform. I also love speaking about things I’m truly excited about. I learned that I am indeed a work in progress when it comes to self-love and communicating kindly to myself.

I was so excited. As I was preparing, I found myself literally tripping over internal thoughts that felt like a bully who tried to make me fall. I was excited one moment; then I literally felt knocked over by the bully. And that bully was ME! I was kind of shocked when I realized that.

I think this happened because, while I can show up shirtless on my Instagram without a problem, with over 4,000 people watching, I didn’t have experience navigating this new space – which was scary! So instead of fully grounding myself in what I was excited about, doubt showed itself in those vulnerable crevices.

And let me tell you this – just because you’ve never done something before, doesn’t mean you won’t be amazing at it.

I kept being so tripped up by intrusive thoughts that I literally had to tell myself to get back up and keep moving forward. Because I am capable. Now, looking back on the experience of that little internal roller coaster, I have to laugh. How often do we put ourselves through harder times than we need to? I realized that this part of my subconscious just needed some practice *feeling* the grounded, confident, capable person I know I am. It was like an old, scared version of myself kept trying to come back and I could truly feel the difference now that I’m practicing self-love every day. I’m grateful I recognized this toxic inner dialogue because I was able to pick myself back up before my thoughts spiraled out of control.

The morning of my interview came. I couldn’t sleep – I was actually really excited to see what it felt like stepping into this new experience with the knowledge that I was capable. I was ready – I prepped really well and knew what I was talking about. I told myself, “Abe, the slim chance that this goes extremely poorly – SO WHAT? It’ll be a learning experience! You’re amazing and capable – OWN YOUR POWER, BOO!” Yes. This is what my inner dialogue sounds like. I texted my brother and best friend about what I should wear. My face was a little flushed from all the adrenaline. Lights, camera, action. I blacked out a bit, to be honest – but I did really, really well. I watched the behind-the-scenes footage that Isaac took and I was beaming with gratitude about how great it went. Thanks for your support and love that you sent me! :)

Here’s the thing: YOU ARE CAPABLE. We’ve all been through a lot. It’s part of being human. Literally, think of everything you’ve been through – good and bad. Broken bones, sprains, making out with someone you find attractive, acing a test, getting caught being out past curfew, sleeping in your car between jobs, harvesting crops in the fall, failing miserably, loving intensely... I could literally go on forever – the human experience is filled with SO MUCH.

And yet, you’re here, reading these words. You’ve made it. Whether you’re here and this is the only thing you can do all day (which, if that’s the case, thank you boo!), or you’re totally crushing it and making the most of this crazy year. Wherever you are in your journey in life – YOU ARE HERE! Because you want to be! Because you choose to be! Because you are capable!

When we take a step back and realize how strong we really are, we equip ourselves with the knowledge that we can do anything. Take a step back and realize that your heart has literally *never stopped beating* your entire life. That your body has healed from injuries and illnesses or is in the process of doing so! How you’ve shown up this year, even when all you could do is get out of bed to go to the bathroom. We humans are incredibly resilient and capable of so much.

So the next time that you’re doubting yourself or your internal bully wants to trip you up, allow your innately capable self to lift you up and help you move towards building the life of your dreams. Because that thing you want? It’s yours.

You are amazing. And I believe in you, fully.

- Abe

Empowered Human Academy

We are three episodes deep into our podcast, Empowered Human Academy – we hope you are enjoying learning from some really inspiring humans we know! If you like what you’re hearing so far, please rate and review it on Apple Podcasts! :)

On next week’s podcast, our good friend interviews US! And we are so excited to share more about our life, beliefs and adventures with you. Watch for our episode, this Tuesday. ❤️

Hey if you’re able to vote in the United States, GO VOTE. The systems we share only shift to reflect us as we actually participate. Those systems are in dire need of evolution (see The Politics Industry), so watch for opportunities to vote on improving voting. In the meantime, vote informed on everything! Use BallotReady and Ballotpedia, and just Google what’s on your ballot to make sure you know what you’re choosing.

We love you. It’s a brisk Colorado afternoon, and writing to you feels like a good use of this time. Enjoy your day. :)