Ryan Reynolds. 

Bradley Cooper. 

Channing Tatum. 

Adam Levine. 

Chris Hemsworth. 

David Beckham. 

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. 

Blake Shelton.

Idris Elba. 

John Legend. 

Michael B. Jordan. 

And most recently, Paul Rudd (who, if we’re honest, has found the fountain of youth and drinks it every day as he looks better now than when he was Phoebe’s boyfriend in “Friends”). 

This is People magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” list since 2010. Other than all of them having that title in common, they’re all very different from one another.

In a world where everyone can post about their minute-by-minute life, it can be hard not to compare yourself to others or even change yourself to try to be like others. I was 16 when Facebook had its first boom, 20 when Twitter took the scene, and 25 when Instagram became the way people showed what they were doing in their “real” life, and even got paid doing so. So throughout these very important cognitive and physical developmental years, I had a cluster-fuck of information on wellness and working out to sift through.

To find and focus on what aligns with me in terms of wellness and working out has taken a lot of trying new things and being aware of how it made me feel—both at the time and a little bit later. I kid you not, we are talking ten years, but I found it! For the past ten years I have used social media off and on to find workout programs and test them out to see if I like them. When it comes to doing new workout programs, I have three rules: 

1: Do everything that’s written in the workout program each day.

2: Stick with it for at least one month.

3: Log how I feel at the time of the workout, and a few hours after.

I have these three rules because without doing everything that is written in the program, I can not truthfully know if it is right for me. The one-month period is enough time and consistency to start to see physiological adaptations to the body and build some momentum for continued sustainability. Finally, logging all of that information gives me truthful data to look back on, which helps me solidify what MY unique wiring loves and thrives off of—and keeps me focused on myself and not others.

Notes I wrote right after one workout:

“Fuck Fuck Fuck, I can’t feel my legs.”

“Wow, that was really hard.”

“Never doing that again.”

 Notes I wrote for that same workout, but a couple hours later after finishing:

“Still can’t feel my legs.”

“That was hard but I am so glad that I did it and finished it.”

“Okay, let’s be real here: didn’t think I would be able to do all of that, and now I am excited to do that again next week.”

There is no one-way-fits-all when it comes to wellness and workouts. Every person is unique in so many ways. Some people like personal training, some like group classes, and some like working out on their own.  But two things everyone should have when in the process of finding what works for them are Gentleness and Grace. Grace in knowing that it won’t happen overnight. Gentleness in knowing you will make mistakes. Both in knowing just because your way is different than Ryan Reynolds, Paul Rudd, or The Rock, doesn’t mean it’s wrong. It’s actually part of what makes you unique and one of the reasons why Lightward loves you. So keep experimenting!