I spent the past ten days in Vermont—a state I had never visited, for a reason I had dreamt of for a long time. I was starting an MFA program in writing at Bennington, to hone my craft and learn from a respected line-up of faculty. The low-residency format means that students gather on campus two times a year over the course of two years’ time, with writing and reading assignments in between. I had learned I was accepted to the program back in March of 2022, deciding to defer until now due to an impending move to Los Angeles and tending to the production pieces of the Journal—life things that needed attending before adding this new element in the mix. At the time, January had felt like a very far future until all of a sudden it was here. And it was worth every second of the wait.

Something that constantly surprises me about life is this pattern of new portals waiting to be discovered.

In the Lightward design system, you may have noticed we use this line burst every now and then—in fact, you’ll see it on this page. There’s a continuous line journeying along, and every so often there’s a burst of more dynamic expression, something unexpected: a burst, a swirl, a curve. In the midst of brainstorm conversations about what we want to make this year, I’ve been thinking a lot about that line, how it reminds me of how life often operates: both rhythmic/constant as well as surprising and unpredictable all at once. There are traceable patterns and then every so often, bursts of something else coming through—unknown variables within a cycle. Steadiness and surprise.

Depending on internal wirings we often have a preference for one or the other—some of us gravitate more toward ritual, finding comfort in the cozy familiar, and others feel restless when things feel too similar, too often—craving a jolt to shake them back into that electric feeling of aliveness. If we are onto something here, life containing both of these energies—might it be a relaxing thought to know that wherever we are currently, whether leaning towards rhythmic or breaking out of a norm, both are expressions of life coming through?

Looking back on this past year and the adventure it held for us, creating Lightward Journal was in many ways, a marathon. While there were bursts of sprinting where we were facilitating multiple photo shoots and interviews or approving final layouts for print, mostly it was a steady, long-form expression with memorable stops along the way. And we were able to do what we did because of the steadiness of both Locksmith and Mechanic, our apps that continue to evolve but have also established a deep sense of anchoring and reliability over the years. That steadiness allowed us the freedom to experiment and play, to venture into unknown territory. To keep evolving.

With the start of 2023, as we’re dropping into that same goopy, imaginative space that has been the nucleus of everything we’ve done here all along, I’m holding close the reminder to listen for where life wants to go. Where might I be holding things too tightly, and how might I move in closer to embrace experimentation and play? How might I weave in rituals to ground me so that I expand my capacity to channel expression when I sense its emergence? Asking myself these questions are my personal stand-in for a new year’s resolution. Rather than projecting any goals or hopes on a new year, perhaps honing my questions is what my soul needs to stay energized and awake. Whether you need an inspiring change-up to your routine or permission to embrace the daily ins and outs of what you’re building before any sense of magical momentum sweeps in, may we all stay open to what is exactly here.

Thank you for being here, for sharing time and space with us. My hope is that what we’re up to here—exploring the contours of freedom—might fuel your own process, whatever that is. That we might all experience a sense of mutuality rather than competition, turning the prism to discover beauty we haven’t yet, keeping the door open for each other as we do. Whether you find yourself in the quiet restfulness of routine or riding an exciting burst of exploration, may life remind you in its deeply specific way that there is still surprise waiting. And may we stay open to that surprise as we continue.

 To the portals that await us.